How come?

How can it be true if it started from a lie? A denial of what is real, closing the doors on the genuine things. A governing cloud glistening with fake spins of the pouring rain. It is a dream of false memopries that cannot be considered as a fact.
That's what a love is..... A make believe of things that never really existed.

kilala mo ba ako?

Nakita mo na ba ako?
Nakita mo na ba ako? Ako na ako, hindi na ako na isa lamang pangalan sa mga taong nakilala mo. Napansin mo na ba ang mga mata kong nakatitig sa iyo? Mga matang naghahanap ng sagot sa mga katanungang itinatago ko sa likod nito. Ma kasagutang hindi mo maibibigay. Binigyan mo na ba ng panahong masdan ang tenga ko? Ang sinupan ng musika ang pangalan mo. Ang lugar kung saan naririnig ko ang mga yabag ng paa, ang galak ng tawa mo, ang tinik sa pagluha mo, ang tibok ng puso mo. Natignan mo na ba ang labi ko? Ang labing nasasabik na mahagkan ang anino sa hangin. Ang labing naghahanap ng kapareha nito. Ang labing hinihiling na sana na sa iyo ang susi para mabuksan ang pinto ng mga salitang nasasambit ko ngunit nakatago sa isang kumot ng pagdududa at hiya. Pinagmasdan mo na ba ako? Ang mga kamay na bumabagsak sa kawalan sa tuwing ikay darating. Ang mga paang nanlalambot sa yabag na umaalon sa presensya na dala mo. Ang katawang nanginginig sa tuwing madidikit ka sa tabi ko. Katawang naghihintay na yakapin mo.
Ngayon! Sabihin mo kung kilala mo ako!

Isang umaga

Nakita kita, nakatingin sa kalayuan. Ang mga mata mo ay nangingintab sa halong pungay ng umaga. naka ikot ang paninginsa pisarang natatabunan ng mga alikabok, tulad ng aking panagarap na napasa ilalim sa pagdududa at hiya. Sumulyap ka patalikod, nakangiti. Maaliwalas ang iyong mukhang sumalubong sa aking mapaklang pag kagising. Sa gitna ng magulong silid ay tila tumahimik ang paligid at ang natira lamang ay ikaw at ako. Ikaw na nagpakitang mahina ako at ako na pilit lumalaban sa kahinaang hindi ko maamin sa aking sarili. Isang kislap sa oras at ang panaginip na iyoy mababasag na parang salamin na nahulog sa napakataas na pangarap. SA isang iglap ay lumingon ka palayo, tumingala at nagsimulang yumuko. Antok at pagod ang naramdaman mo sa araw na iyon. Ngunit nais ko pang makita ang mukhang nagtatago sa brasong pinapananggalang mo sa liwanag ng mundo. Kahit na alam kong hindi ko mahahagkan ang pisnging iyon ay pinapangarap ko pa rin na maksama kita.... kahit isang umaga lang.

Another Night, Another Day

Another night of agony. A dark void of pretentitious fantasies that tries to grab the soul mourning inside this body. A Dance beteween a silhoutte of shadows and deception, hiding the truth. Forcing the steel heart to turn into a melting candle by the fire burning randomly through the whispers of the wind.

Another day of scorching heat cutting through my skin like electric flames piercing my being into a torment of lies. A moment under the brilliant sun hoping that someday that these dreams will surely come true. A wish that will make me happy and another, sad. But this day is engulf in black clouds that slowly turning the sunshine into wind and rain. Slowly the rain is streaming thru my face, gently mixing with the tears. Tears that are made up of longing and hurts from the past that might never leave my heart.

Every Heart

its been a long time since Ive updated in this blog. half a year or so..... its bevause Ive been busy; as busy as a rat trying to find a cheese to eat for supper. Hai...... the past semester was reallly axhausting. It took away half of my energy eberyday that I cannot feel my legs when I step back into our house.

If you dont know what I am talking about, just see the pictures on the BSE-CAE groups on yahoo; entitled "The Ladies and the Senator." It was an exhilirating and exhausting ride in which I learned that I can do better than I have limited myserlf to do so. (Notice that I used the prefix EX twice? its because the experience was out of the ordinary.) every fiber of my body, every sweat wasted, every tears and shouts that had been shed and thrown out of control, every money spent (as if) was worth it.

this time, I will mention those who I would like to thank most, specially those people who I owe alot in inspiring me to make this project a success.

Edsel schields, the one who knows that he is not a leader material, but despite that, he led us to a sussessful interlude in our college life.

Joseph and Gianne, the two people that has an unyielding energy to fulfill their duty as a member of our group.

Lea..... baboy hehehehehe

Papa to kiss in the dark (A+)

A revealing yet incest-related/young awakening yaoi story in which the story revolves around Mira, Kazu and Shorimine. a typical high-school-boy-to-older-lover story. The way it is different because of the story that is quite like Gravitation..... but the story has its turn about having someone liking you more that your lover.

Haruka Kanata

"Haruka kanata", means far-off distance, that phras still rsonats lik a bell in my had. Its been more than three yars sinc I first heard that phrase. The first time I heard it, is in Naruto's opening theme. The song inspired me alot in pursuing the needlss dreams of a carbon-based lif form struggling to be something out of nothing. That struggle is a journey that most of my kind fail to accomplish. A long road that may fulfill anf destroy the dream of a soul. It may be a sweet embrace or a horrific dream.

For me, dreaming was a childs play in which on is trying to grab on to something invisible. a game in which you will bt your lif and di trying to win a stupid choice of lif. death, rise and fall.

But now, as I reach the point in choosing my own destiny..... I hope that on day I will catch the Haruka Kanata

Song for the day

The best way to end your day is to pick up a song and try to connect whatyou have been feeling the whole day. To make the people understand that a son can paint the motions you have prtruding.... the happiness that was your prerogative..... the sadness that stills you..... the fear that embraces you, that made your soul shivers......

The song that I picked to nd my day is BoA's everyhart.....

The song depicts what I am feelig today. I need not to explain the reason behin this pic. For reasons are just rubbish representations of stupidity and the lack of knowledge.

Until next time.

Song for the day

The best way to end your day is to pick up a song and try to connect whatyou have been feeling the whole day. To make the people understand that a son can paint the motions you have prtruding.... the happiness that was your prerogative..... the sadness that stills you..... the fear that embraces you, that made your soul shivers......

The song that I picked to nd my day is BoA's everyhart.....

The song depicts what I am feelig today. I need not to explain the reason behin this pic. For reasons are just rubbish representations of stupidity and the lack of knowledge.

Until next time.

how can i fall

how can i fall to some one i never really knew, to someone who walked by my life and left without even daying goodbye. A shadow in the verge of a beacon blinding its spirit that i cannot recognize his face. a silhoutte in the mist that i cannot even hold him in just a time. a moment when i can smell his aromatic essence, when i can hold him beneath my everlastng heart.

a christmas gift

Emo

I always thought that I moved on, that I coquered my fears of having him inside my system for so long. But I was wrong, The fears came bac and haunts my present. It rapidly crippling me with nightmares of yesterday. That I cant grasp what was coming and kept holding on what was undone. Im still believing on a fantasy that was not really meant to be a happy ending. A fantasy only I created..... I created on wishing about people places and things as i want them to be...... This is all i can tell for now..... I cant say no more.